Faith, Life

Dear Younger, Single Me

Dear Younger, Single Me,

I know what you’re feeling. I know the questions you have asked over, and over, and over. I know the ache, the loneliness, the fear, the doubts, and the longing.

You started praying for him at the ripe old age of 11. Over the years, you’ve prayed for him almost daily. Oh, how you’ve prayed. Prayed for his health, safety, wisdom, his work, and for God to bless him. You’ve prayed for his family to be prepared for you and you for them. You’ve prayed about his relationships—keep the other girls away! You’ve prayed, more times than you could count, that God will allow you to meet him soon. You’ve questioned why it’s taking so long. Is the delay punishment for your past mistakes? Will you ever get the chance to give him those letters you started writing him at the age of 15? With the passing years, there are a lot more of them than you ever imagined there would be. You made it through four years of Bible college between two schools, and you never got your “ring by spring.” Does he even exist?

Let me set your mind at ease: he does exist. Not only that, but God so graciously answered your prayers.

Life doesn’t look the way you dreamed it would, but you are, by far, happier than you had ever hoped. No, it’s not all sunshine and roses (although you do love it when he gives you flowers), but God knew just who you needed. He’s not who you would have pictured yourself with. He’s quirky and goofy, he does weird dances (even on your first date, in the middle of Dunkin’ Donuts), and…he’s a drummer. Oh, and he likes his cookies crunchy…If you knew him in his younger years, you probably would have disliked him and thought he was obnoxious. He’s mellowed with age, and through the trials you’ll go through, you’ll see his depth and the wisdom God gave him in answer to your prayers. You’ll balance each other out, and he will keep you laughing. You will be completely comfortable with him right away, just like you prayed for when you were 9 years old. God is good.

Until you finally meet (and that’s a story worth telling), please rest. Please, trust God and fully surrender to Him. You put so much energy into worrying, wondering, crying, and questioning, energy that could have been spent elsewhere. Rest, trust, and surrender.

Until you meet, take full advantage of your ample free time. You might feel busy and tired, but just wait until you have a one year old and a two year old! Dive deep into God’s Word. I know you dream of serving with your husband, but Paul was right. In 1 Corinthians 7:34 when he said, “An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband.” Take advantage of this time. Life gets busy, and while you won’t want to trade your husband or your babies for anything in this world, you will miss your ability to spend hours in the Word and in prayer.

Until you meet, be content and be confident. You feel inferior and like you don’t quite fit in with married women. Being married doesn’t change who you are. It doesn’t make you feel any differently. Once you’re married, you won’t view singles as inferior or as though they don’t belong. Don’t wait impatiently until you’re married and finally belong. Be confident and content now.

Life goes so quickly, please don’t wish today away. God is faithful and so gracious to you, and you know you can trust Him, so do it.

Love,

Older, Married You

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