• The servers who are suddenly without jobs, they’re struggling
• The nurse who doesn’t have PPE in the midst of a pandemic, she’s struggling.
• The college student whose college has moved online, he’s struggling.
• The senior whose senior year has been cut short, she’s struggling.
• The engaged couple now indefinitely hours apart, they’re struggling.
• The stay at home mom whose life hasn’t seemed to change much to you, she’s struggling.
• The working mom who has become a work from home mom while her kids are out of school, she’s struggling.
• The grandparents who don’t know when they’ll get to see their grandchildren again, they’re struggling.
• The man in sales at a time when no one is buying anything but toilet paper, he’s struggling.
• The parents whose kids may not be able to come home after being out of the country for two years, they’re struggling.
• The pastors and leaders who suddenly have to navigate closures and online church, they’re struggling.
• The stylist whose shop has just had to close, she’s struggling.
• The nurse who has to work while her kids’ school has closed, she’s struggling.
• The senior citizens who are told they shouldn’t go to the store, yet they can’t figure out grocery pick up or get their whole order even once it’s been placed, they’re struggling.
• The wife whose husband’s National Guard unit just got activated, she’s struggling.
• The person who keeps buying toilet paper, even though they have 200 rolls at home already, they’re struggling.
• The parents who can’t find wet wipes or diapers, they’re struggling.
These are just some of the things my friends and family are facing. It’s a lot.
Real talk: I’ve been struggling today. I’ve had a few break downs today. I’m feeling overwhelmed, worn out, alone, restless, impatient, frustrated, fearful, purposeless, unwanted, and defeated.
We are all struggling. We are all in this together in this aloneness.
This season will not last.
Let’s give each other grace. Let’s encourage each other. Let’s support each other. Let’s ease burdens. Let’s pray for each other. Let’s lean into Jesus.
In case you’re getting cabin fever while social distancing, here are some ideas to fill the time you would have spent outside of your house!
Read! If you don’t have access to library ebooks, there are many places with free ebooks. Amazon has free ebooks available at times for prime members, and https://dev.gutenberg.org has thousands of books with expired copyrights.
Get in shape. Find a workout on YouTube or download an app with exercises.
Organize your closets. If you’re like me, closets get filled with all the things you don’t know what to do with at the last minute before company arrives. I always intend to clean them out, but it’s one of the last things I get to.
Start a Garden. Skip a trip to the grocery store or Farmers’ Market this summer, and plant your own vegetables. While you’re at it, plant some flowers to brighten up your house!
Learn to Crochet or Knit. There are lots of tutorials online and lots of free patterns!
Learn Calligraphy. Have you ever printed something off of your computer because you couldn’t get it to look the way you wanted when you wrote it by hand? Guilty. Order a kit online, use your printer less often, and make some beautiful gift tags for Christmas.
Organize your kitchen. This is something else that I always want to get to, but tends to be neglected.
Learn to cook. If you don’t ordinarily cook, you might be in panic mode—doubled with the limited grocery options at times, and you might feel hopeless. Allrecipes.com has a search feature that allows you to search for recipes with or without certain ingredients, and some recipes have videos to go along with them. If you already cook, find a recipe you’ve never made but have always wanted to try.
Play a board game. Some of our favorite games are Quiddler, Sequence, and Blokus. Do you have an recommendations?
Go for a walk. Get out an enjoy the fresh air (and sunshine while you have it!)!
Prepare for a garage sale. After cleaning out your closets, you will likely find you have lots of things you no longer want or need. Get them ready to sell once we’re no longer social distancing.
Learn a language. Get ready to make up for the conversations you missed out on and increase the number of people you can talk to by learning another language, or at least starting to learn it. DuoLingo is a great, free app with lots of different language options.
Catch up on laundry. Have a pajama day (or two), and get all of your clothes washed.
Refinish a piece of furniture. Love the look or chalk paint, but hate the price? Make some with 1 part water, 1 part Plaster of Paris, and 3 parts paint.
Journal. These are unprecedented times, journal them so that you can look back at lessons learned, strange things that happen, and things you want to do when you’re no longer social distancing.
Plan a driveway cookout. Sometimes just seeing another person, even if it’s at a distance, helps provide a little bit of normalcy. Use the nextdoor.com to communicate with neighbors and make a plan for everyone to have a cookout or picnic on their driveways.
Check on your friends and neighbors to see if they’re okay and if they need anything. Text/call or leave them a note with your number if you don’t have their numbers.
Fly a kite. Maybe watch Mary Poppins before you do it.
Express gratitude. As Veggie Tales says, “A thankful heart, is a happy heart.” It’s easy to get stuck on all of the negative things, but look for and keep track of the things you have to be thankful for.
PRAY. God is able and faithful. While there may not be much we can do, God is completely able, and nothing is too difficult for Him.
After months of crying and praying and waiting for my son, in many ways, I wasn’t prepared to be a mom. My son will be a year old in a few months, and here is what I’ve learned I wasn’t prepared for:
1. I wasn’t prepared for the amount of bodily fluids I would come into contact with.
I expected spit up. I did not expect to be squirted during diaper changes, and I didn’t expect diapers leaking through to my shirt during church, yellow goo on my hands because he wasn’t finished going when I started changing him, or being thrown up on 5 times in two hours. Not to mention, he has a sweaty head when he sleeps if his head is touching anything besides a sheet (just like my youngest brother had).
Being a mom involves getting dirty.
2. I wasn’t prepared for how his first smile felt.
It was on a Sunday afternoon, and I took a break from getting the house ready for our small group to spend time with my baby. I told him I loved him, and he smiled for the first time. My heart melted, and my eyes filled with tears. Since then, he is almost always ready to give a smile (unless he’s tired or hungry).
Being a mom involves heart melting moments.
3. I wasn’t prepared for the number of baby-inflicted injuries I would sustain.
When he was first born, I received scratches on a regular basis, and I had the marks to prove it because gloves would not stay on his little hands. Now that he’s mobile, I have had bloody lips because he plops his head down on my face. He’s also learned how to pinch. Apparently my arms and neck are prime targets for pinching. Again, I have marks to prove it. My hair is a pull toy that goes wherever I go. Unfortunately, I didn’t count the number of hairs he has pulled out of my head, but if postpartum hair loss didn’t make me feel like wearing a wig, or at the very least, a hat, my little hair puller might push me over the edge. The worst part is, after he tugs, I say, “OW! That hurt!”, and my ordinarily incredibly sweet baby smiles. He. Smiles. Thankfully he doesn’t have teeth yet, so he can’t bite, but I anticipate adding biting to the list of ways he’s assaulted me.
Being a mom involves pain.
4. I wasn’t prepared for how smart he would be.
I know I’m naturally biased, but guys, my son is smart. At eight months old, he knew how to refute my “no” with an “ah!” and a nod of his own. He responds affirmatively and gets excited when we ask if he’s hungry and wants to eat, he waves bye-bye when questioned about where he’s going when crawling out of the room. If he has a dirty diaper, he smiles when asked if he stinks, he looks at his dad when I ask where Daddy is, he stops what he’s doing or sits up and watches for his dad when he hears the key in the door (even from the upstairs bedrooms!) or the garage door open, and he comes close when I ask if he wants to snuggle.
Being a mom involves proud moments.
5. I wasn’t prepared for the lack of sleep.
Oh sure, I was warned. Plenty of people took it upon themselves to tell me to enjoy my sleep while I could. I either ignored them or laughed it off as exaggeration. I graduated college and had my share of late nights of studying, and I lived in a dorm with fire alarms going off at random times in the middle of the night—I could handle it. Ha! I felt like a zombie for the first month and then again at 3-6 months when he was up every 1-3 hours. Then there’s a tough decision to make in the daytime: drink coffee and feel a little bit more energy but risk not being able to nap if you have the opportunity or don’t drink coffee, keep feeling like a zombie, and be able to take a nap if the opportunity arises.
Being a mom involves not sleeping.
6. I wasn’t prepared for laughing at 4AM.
My little character is in rare form these days when he wakes up in the middle of the night or early in the morning to eat. We bring him into bed with us to feed him, and he takes a few sips, then sits up with a massive smile, climbs on me, climbs on his dad, pushes my head or my other arm off of the arm resting on the mattress to make a place for his head to go as he plops down next to me to snuggle for a minute before he gets up with another smile and starts the whole process over again. At some point, decides to start eating again, and then snuggles for a little while longer before being taken back to his bed.
Being a mom involves unexpected laughter.
7. I wasn’t prepared for how nerve racking the first few nights were.
Was he warm enough? Was he too hot? Was he going to scoot down into his swaddle and cover his face? Would I wake up if he cried? Was he still breathing? For the first few nights, I slept with my pillow propped up, overlooking his pack ‘n play, and waking up every few minutes to look at him, not because I was so crazy in love with my new baby, but because I was so afraid he’d stop breathing in the night, and I needed to make sure his chest was still rising and falling.
Being a mom involves worrying.
8. I wasn’t prepared for how much I would love his personality.
While I was pregnant, I worried that he wouldn’t like me or that I wouldn’t like him. While we have a few years before he grows up enough to decide whether or not he likes me, I’m pretty crazy about him. My little guy is a character. If you know my husband, you’re probably not at all surprised. He definitely inherited his goofiness from his daddy. He babbles and dances in his high chair or at the baby gate. He showers everyone he sees with smiles (again, as long as he’s not tired or hungry). He laughs at random things (mostly things his dad does, every once in a while I’ll earn a laugh). He is stubborn. He’s fearless (unless he’s faced with sunflowers, and then his bravery rapidly melts away). He’s adventurous. He is incredibly sweet and snuggly. He is observant. He is ornery.
Being a mom involves falling in love.
9. I wasn’t prepared for the isolation I felt.
Granted, it took me weeks to feel human again and to be somewhat functional, but the first couple of months were incredibly lonely. I had worked until the day I went into labor, and I was used to being around people. Suddenly, I was with one tiny person all day, and for a while it seemed like all he did was cry, sleep, eat, and stare (he did a lotttt of staring, especially at the painting behind our couch). It was worse than it could have been because he was born in winter, and I am terrified of driving in snowy or icy weather. Plus, flu season was one of the worst in recent years, and my newborn didn’t have the immune system to fight a sometimes deadly flu. From what I read of other people’s experiences, the flu sounded absolutely miserable, and I didn’t want to get sick either!
Being a mom involves loneliness.
10. I wasn’t prepared for how fast it all goes.
When he was first born, I longed for the day he would sleep through the night, and therefore, wanted to just get through the newborn phase–even though I was warned about how quickly it goes. Again, I ignored what I was told. In just a few, short months, my newborn has gone from needing held constantly, not being interactive, being tiny, and being a loved little stranger to being able to sit up on his own crawl, pull himself up on furniture, walk with a push toy, smile, laugh, “talk” back and respond to questions, being big (okay, he’s still pretty tiny for his age, but he’s so much bigger than he was!!), and being someone whose likes, dislikes, and moods I know. It’s crazy how fast he’s grown. His growth and development has been so bittersweet. On the one hand, it is an absolute joy to see the new skills he develops, to watch his personality develop, and to watch him grow, but on the other hand, I cried when I boxed up his newborn clothes, and I know it’s just a matter of time before my snuggle-loving baby grows to be a space-craving little boy (my eyes filled with tears as I typed that).
Being a mom involves time flying.
And in just a few months, we get to start it all over again. I will probably still not be prepared.
Congratulations! You did it! You gave birth to a beautiful son or daughter! Now the question is: who does the baby look like? You might not know yet, but what you do know is, you could stare at that little chubby face for hours, and you can’t quite bring yourself to put that precious little person down.
Maybe it’s been a few days or weeks since the big day, and the combination of hormones and sleep deprivation have started taking a toll. Everyone told you to enjoy your sleep while you could, but…you didn’t take them seriously. While you were pregnant, you woke up throughout the night and early in the morning, having a baby couldn’t be much worse. You could handle it.
After your first night with your little bundle of joy, you might have been kicking yourself. Waking up with a baby isn’t a matter of just emptying your bladder or finding a more comfortable position. Waking up with a baby means a diaper change, feeding, and burping. If your baby’s a slow eater, it could be a 40 minute process—every two to three hours. Which means you might get an hour or two in which you can sleep before you start the process all over again.
Nights are so very long. Because they’re so long, even though you are exhausted, you sometimes dread going to sleep because you know you will be awake in a couple of hours. You feel like a toddler who fights bedtime.
The days can be long too. All alone with your little guy or girl. All alone to handle the leaky diapers, multiple outfit changes per day because of the leaky diapers, and screams that make you feel inadequate, from a baby who’s already been fed, burped, and changed. And if your new arrival is a boy…you might have been a target during a diaper change.
You’re in survival mode. Exhaustion, coupled with new responsibilities, has stretched you thin. You’re so anxious for this phase to be over. Everyone told you time goes so quickly and that babies grow so quickly, but this feels like it’s lasting forever.
Dear Mom of a Newborn, just like they were right about the lack of sleep, they are right about time going quickly. Fully take in the moments with your napping baby who still likes to be cradled. I know you’re more tired than you’ve been in your life, but treasure the time you get to spend holding and feeding your little one—even in the middle of the night. Enjoy getting to try on all of the tiny outfits while they still fit.
Before you know it, your newborn won’t be a newborn anymore. Yes, you’ll get more sleep, but suddenly your baby won’t want to be cradled, you’ll be putting away those newborn size clothes and replacing them with size 3 Months. Despite the fact that you love seeing your son or daughter grow and develop, and you love seeing those smiles that melt your heart, your heart will ache a little because your baby will never be as tiny as he or she was just a few weeks ago.
Drink some coffee. Take a nap when your baby naps. Try not to feel too guilty for leaving dishes in the sink or letting laundry pile up. Whatever you do, treasure these days, take in every moment, because they were right, time goes by so very quickly.
Before Thad and I got married, we decided we wanted to wait a year before kids. Well… our one year anniversary is in less than two weeks, and…we started trying to get pregnant in August. We’re currently in our 8thmonth. It’s been a difficult journey, with each month filled with hope, only to end in disappointment and frustration.
Today, we got a test result back that confirms that there is an issue. While I’m thankful to have answers, I have to admit to being fearful. I know nothing is impossible with God (Luke 1:37), and that I need to trust and rest knowing God is sovereign and able. But…my human heart is made heavy with fear and sorrow. I don’t enjoy dark days.
As I got home from work today, I saw a package on my doorstep. I had found some great sales online earlier this week, and my order is scheduled for delivery on Friday and Saturday. I assumed one of my packages had arrived early, and I was excited to try on my new clothes. I went to pick up the box, and I noticed a bright red “Fragile” label. Clothes shouldn’t be fragile, right? After checking the label twice to make sure the box was intended for me and not one of my neighbors, I took it in and opened it. Inside the box, I found a beautiful, purple flowered cream and sugar set. However, there was no note or indication of who they were from. I messaged my mom and my husband. Thad knew nothing about it. My mom finally replied and admitted to buying them for me and said they had arrived a day early.
The cream and sugar set reminded me of a few things. First, they reminded me that God goes before me every step. The future is unknown. Every day is a step into uncharted territory, but God goes before me. He knows what comes next. He knows what I need and when I need it. He knows when dark days are coming and how to add brightness to them.
It also reminded me that I am loved and thought about. My mom thought about me when she saw the cream and sugar set and bought them for me because she loved me. In Matthew 7:11, Jesus said, “If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give what is good to those who ask Him!” My Heavenly Father loves me even more than my earthly mother could and He too gives good gifts.
Does a surprise cream and sugar set change the situation or the test results? No, but they do remind me to look to the One who can.
Maybe you’ve had a dark day or a string of dark days. Your situation may not be easy or one you would have chosen, but God is still good. He is still able, still faithful, still gracious. Be reminded, you are loved by God. He goes before You, and He knows what you need.
Imperfect Pearl 