How Are You?

Does anyone remember back in the day, when we’d see someone we knew? Church, grocery store, park, zoo, TJ Maxx, Hobby Lobby, or coffee shops and restaurants, the conversation always started the same. “Hi! How are you?”

Our response would depend on a few things. Things like how well we knew the other person, where we were, how much time we had to talk, how interested the other person seemed, etc,. But generally, the response was, “Oh, hi! I’m okay, you?”

Today, I want to check in with you.

How are you doing? How are you really doing?

Over the past week, I’ve heard from when who are not okay. Women who are tired, fearful, grieving, and disappointed in themselves. We’ve never experienced anything like this, and our thoughts and emotions are all over the map.

Wherever you may find yourself, I’d like to remind you to give yourself grace. It’s okay not to be okay.

Whether you’re anxious because of the uncertainty we’re facing, fearful because of lost income, or grieving the loss of normal, give yourself grace.

Maybe you came into this whole staying at home thing with visions of how you’d spend your time, of family activities, books read, crafts completed, freshly baked masterpieces, or clean closets, and as we are hopefully getting closer to life becoming even slightly more normal, and are disappointed by the difference between the dream and the reality. Give yourself grace.

Maybe your kids are older. Maybe you’re feeling guilty for not taking full advantage of the time they’ve spent home. Give yourself grace.

As precious and idyllic as time spent home with our families sounds, many of my dreams were unrealistic. My reality is, that while I may not be taking the kids on outings, I still have to keep them from hurting themselves and each other, from destroying the house, and from stealing coffee the minute my back is turned.

Our schedules may have been cleared, but the circumstance they were cleared by was far from ideal. Don’t beat yourself up if you didn’t accomplish what you wanted, weren’t as strong as you hoped, or if you didn’t thrive. You’ve made it through over a month of being at home, all. of. the. time.

You’ve made it through over a month of changed income. You’ve made it through over a month of teaching your kids and trying to keep them on track (in a time when their emotions are running high and their worlds have been turned upside down too!) You’ve made it through over a month of changing rules, expectations, and outlooks. You’ve made it through toilet paper shortages. You’ve been creative when the grocery store was sold out of what you wanted. You’ve listened to and encouraged your friends as they struggled and processed. You’ve learned how to breathe through and rock a mask. You’ve learned how to (or how not to) cut hair. You’ve cooked more than you have in your life. You’re a Tiger King expert.

Give yourself grace.

You can be productive, brave, and thrive next pandemic.