The final week of classes for my third semester is quickly coming to a close. The finish line is finally coming into view. This semester has gone unbelievably quickly, and yet, I find myself completely out of the motivation and the energy to do any more work. With daily work still due and a large project due this weekend, I am in a dangerous position. I have worked hard throughout this semester, and now, in the final week, I am battling with apathy.
Before I came to CBC, I was completely unsure of what sort of a student I would be. Having been homeschooled all of my life, failure was a very real fear. I had never been in a classroom setting, I had never taken notes, and I had never written an essay. The first day of my comp 1 class nearly brought me to tears because I was completely overwhelmed by the thought of writing a seven to ten page research paper.
I was pleasantly surprised (or maybe overjoyed would be more accurate) by my first test grades. My initial grades birthed a determination to continue to succeed, and not to let my grades drop.That semester I became more stressed than I have ever been in my life. My research paper topic of end times prophecies in light of current events proved to be slightly too ambitious for a first semester freshman. I discovered that there are endless opinions and interpretations on end times events. I pushed through, and I survived my first semester.
My second semester was relatively uneventful. I continued to grow and to try my hardest. I learned not to become quite so stressed because stress simply does not help tasks to be completed well.
This semester has brought a new challenge: exhaustion. I have had a job since spring break, and in the last month, I have entirely lacked motivation to finish my assignments. Perhaps it is because I have had my goal on the wrong prize.
I need to remind myself that the purpose for my education is not the grades I receive. It isn’t the feeling of success or even the degree I am pursuing. The purpose for my education is to prepare me for the purpose I was designed for. Rather than a good grade, my highest ambition needs to be glorifying God in all that I do and working with all my might for His glory, toward the goal He has for my life, because it is not about me.
For the coming week, I will continue to press on toward the finish line. Maybe next semester I will keep my eyes on Christ and His goal rather than on my grades and my own successes.